Received a notice again today that my wife has sent me yet another letter that has been held because of references to the kids. I really am beginning to hate this. Why is it that other guys who have killed someone or who are drugged out of their minds can have as much communication with their kids as they’d like, but someone like myself, who is by most accounts a good father, cannot even mention them in any form of correspondence?
I did actually get a real piece of mail today. It was a letter from my mom. She was very supportive in her message, but also somehow hurt, feeling that she may have done something wrong in raising me, that I ended up sentenced to prison. The best part of her letter was the start of her “life story” which I had be hoping that she would write at some point. It’s amazing to hear about her past and all the struggles that she went through. It makes me wonder why my problems seemed so unmanageable in my mind. I think based on her taking the lead, I’m going to start writing down my past and detail so of my childhood and early adulthood.
GTL has still not processed any of my messages to my wife. I’m worried that somehow the fact that my oldest daughter was added as a contact to my account is going to block any/all messages from going out or coming into my tablet. I’m left hoping that my wife can contact someone for help or maybe find out what is happening. Why is this so difficult? Why is there no one to help families on the outside to figure out what is happening?
I am going to write down some of my thoughts and concerns over what I have seen and experienced so far in my time with KDOC. I understand that we are all here to be punished for the crimes we committed and I am fully in support of consequences for your actions. However, if you continue to treat someone like they are incapable of being a better human, they will never decide to try to be a better human. Why not build people up and try to help them, rather than slap them down and shut they away where they can only grow more contempt? Maybe someday when this is all over I can present my thoughts and ideas to someone in Topeka. It’s insane to be excited about “only” 216 open positions within KDOC. That’s shameful if you ask me.