It truly seems like it has been an eternity here. I’m only at the beginning. How is it possible that my time here will be followed by more than two years? I’m glad I have been learning how to meditate over the past year or so. It has been so incredibly valuable to calm myself and reset my mind so that I don’t let the anxiety of what my future looks like pull me too far down.
My attorney came to the county jail today to talk to me. I was sure he would have some kind of good news for me, but it was not to be. There will be no way to appeal the decision because they followed procedure. Even though the conversation at my sentencing was not actually related to me being granted probation, they were not officially on the record until it had already been decided that I was going to prison. He explained to me that he was completely caught off guard and would have not expected things to play out like they did. It’s little comfort at this point, but at least I wasn’t crazy.
I wish I had a larger blanket, or maybe just an extra one. Another pillow would be nice too. Right now I have my “mattress” rolled up on one end and my feet wrapped up in what little bit of blanket I can spare. I’m tall and this is just not working at all, but what do they care, I’m just a criminal in prison. Luckily, my wife was able to bring in my “Inspire” remote so that I can sleep with my implant turned on. I have pretty severe sleep apena and the past few nights have been hell trying to get decent sleep.